Skip to content

Authentic Living 104: Taking Responsibility

January 18, 2012

 

Look around you.  That’s right, I’m talking to you. Stop what you’re doing right now.  Put down your pen; your iPhone; your preconceived notions of what your life is supposed to look like and take a look at what it actually consists of.

Is this what you were expecting? Be honest now, it’s just me you’re talking to, so you don’t have to pretend.

Did you really want to be working in this dead end job?  Yes, I know, it’s a job, but we both know that this isn’t where you thought you’d be five years ago. No, that’s not something you should be telling your supervisor when it’s time for your semi-annual review, but this is me you’re talking to, and if you can’t be honest with me, then who can you be honest with?

How about the relationship with your significant other?  Ah, I saw that flinch.  I hit a nerve, didn’t I?  Yes I know, they’re a good person and you’re lucky to have them.  Well, that’s what you tell yourself every day, isn’t it?  There an awesome conversationalist; they’re a great parent; they really have a way with animals.  It’s what keeps you going, isn’t it?  And that other stuff; the fact that there are things you can’t talk to them about because they just wouldn’t understand; that they brush off things that are really important to you; that doesn’t matter, does it, because they have other qualities….It’s okay, you can keep telling yourself that.  But do me a favor, would you?  And just stop.  Look at the person you’re with.  Look at them, exactly as they are, not as you would like them to be, not as you hope they will be one day, but as they are, right now.  Is this what you were expecting?  Better yet; is this what you want?

But wait, I’m How about your kids?  What about the place where you are living; your friends; your beliefs about politics your view of God?  How about yourself?  Are you happy with the way that you jump to conclusions so quickly?  Do you really enjoy losing your temper so easily?  Ha – you didn’t like that, did you?  It was fine when I was talking about the external aspects of your life and the things that you deserve or want, but analyzing you yourself isn’t as much fun, is it?  No, don’t turn away from me just because you’re uncomfortable with my questions, I’m not finished yet!

I could go on like this all day you know; making you analyze each and every aspect of your life.  But I’m not going to because that’s not what I’m here for.  But before you get too comfortable and think that you’re just going to go back to the way things were, I have one more question for you:

If you had the power to create the perfect life for yourself how would you go about doing it?

Let’s say that you could be teleported back to the point in your life where it all went wrong; where you started making decisions that turned out to negatively impact your life, what could you do to make sure that your life turned out differently? That’s right; you would have to have made different decisions.  Mind you, you now have the power of hind sight.  You know which decisions negatively impacted your life and which one was the right one to make, and hind sight is not something you possessed when that decision was initially made.  But what if I were to tell you that there was a way that you could have determined – right then and there – as to whether or not you were making the right decision?

Yes, I can see that you are skeptical about it, but would I lie to you?  I can’t lie to you.  In fact, I’m probably one of the only people on earth who can’t lie to you (probably because I am you) but the fact remains, there is a way that you could have known.  In fact, you did know.  The thing is you were not aware of what you knew.  It’s called intuition.

No, intuition is not some sort of New Age mumbo jumbo; it’s that still small voice that prompts you to not trust the person who has offered you the job; the unease in your stomach when you contemplate going out on another date with that person; that hunch that says you really shouldn’t take this road today.  It’s those uneasy moments that we want to listen to but that we always override with cool logic and reason:  It’s a perfectly good job.  You had a good time on your first date; there is no reason to turn them down now.  This is the shortest way to work, don’t be silly!

And then the job turns out to be a soul-sucking miserable job that you can’t quit because it will look bad on your resume.  You end up involved with a neurotic, egotistical idiot that you can’t shake because you don’t want to be responsible for deepening their neuroses, and the shortest road turned out to be the scene of a six car pileup and now you don’t have a working vehicle, and you find yourself really wishing that you had listened to your first instinct after all.

But of course there is no way that you could have known that this was going to happen, so it’s not your fault.  And if it’s not your fault then it’s the fault of whoever you’re working for; involved with; or the guy who hit you, isn’t it?  It has to be, because to realize that it has really your decisions that have been responsible for the direction that you life has taken; for where you are in life right now; means that you have to stop blaming other people for those aspects of your life that are not what you wish they were.

You want to know something else?  (Too bad, I’m going to tell you anyways).  What I need to tell you is that it isn’t just the decisions that you made in the past that you need to regret.  It’s the decisions that you are making every single day; the decisions that you are making right now that are ensuring that your life is not going to get any better.

Yeah, think about that one for a minute.  Sort of scary, isn’t it?  I mean, you may have made one decision to ignore intuition and it led to others that led to others until you found yourself in so deep that it seems impossible to extract yourself.  But it’s not as hopeless as it may seem.  Not really.  There actually is a way out.

I don’t care how messed up your life is right now.  I don’t care how big a mess you’ve made of things.  I don’t care how bad things are, you can change them.  You have the power to change them.  You always have had the power, you just weren’t aware of how to use it.  Do you want to know what it is?  Heh, you already know, but I’ll tell you anyway:  Intuition.

That’s right.  It’s never too late to start using the gift that you’ve had all along; to start listening to the voice that was trying to tell you which path to take.  Mind you, it’s going to be harder now, especially since you’ve tangled up so many other people in your life; have taken on so many responsibilities and obligations, but you can still turn your life around.

No, you won’t be able to create the life you once thought you wanted; the life you saw for yourself when your first started down this path however many years ago.  The decisions you have made between then and now mean that you are no longer the same person that you were, and the life you had imagined for yourself then is most likely not the life you would want now; experience has enriched you; given you a new perspective; helped you to see the bigger picture.

But by learning to once again listen to that still small voice inside your head; that prompting that tells you that this really isn’t the right choice for you, you can stop living a lie and start living from your heart and soul; that place that knows deep down what the right decision is for this moment in time; if you’ll just have the patience to listen to it; and the courage to act on what it tells you to do.

Advertisements

Please Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: