Seeing beneath the surface of reality sounds like such a romantic concept.  The idea of seeing things as they really are; of experiencing the truth; of getting to the heart of the matter; all of it sounds so incredibly exotic and spiritual.  The reality of seeing what is really there instead of what you want or expected to be there is something else entirely.

The reality involves stripping away any illusions that you may have had; any preconceived notions as to what reality is supposed to be like.  This can be hard enough when dealing with circumstances and beliefs.  Beliefs alone can change your entire way of thinking, especially when something you have always believed to be true is proven otherwise.  When it comes to people however, seeing to the heart of things takes on an entirely different perspective, primarily because you are dealing with souls; that fundamental core of each of us that is the essence of who and what we really are.

Seeing beneath the surface of a person’s exterior to that clear blue soul that lies beneath; that can be an incredibly profound and disturbing thing. To see them for the first time as who and what they truly are instead of how you want to see them or how they project themselves; to see them in all of their perfection instead of with all of the human faults failures that you (or they) have attributed or ascribed to themselves or adopted as part of their worldview; it is definitely an experience that you will not soon forget.  In fact, it will definitely rock your world.

In a heartbeat every preconceived notion you had of whom and what this person is; what they are like; what they have done to you disappears.  In its place you find the clean, clear essence and purity that is at the heart of each of us.

So why is this so disturbing?  Why is it that when we catch a glimpse of the true nature of things and of people that it shocks us so profoundly?

Well, one of the primary reasons that most people find themselves so disturbed by seeing beneath the skin of reality is that it reminds them that nothing they see is actually real, that it is all an illusion.

If you will, it’s like what happens when you are watching a movie and suddenly the DVD freezes up.  In a heartbeat the moving images that you were so engrossed in a moment before turn into a blizzard of unrelated pixels and suddenly you are forcibly reminded that what you are seeing is just a recording.

We’ve built our world; our entire reality on a foundation of illusions.  From the illusion of the solidity of physical objects (electrons moving so fast and furiously that they give an object of being solid and dense when it really consists of more empty space than physical matter) to the illusion of separateness when it comes to consciousness, we’re working with illusions.

In order to experience physical existence; in order to interact with people and things around us, we have to act as if the illusion is real.  This is just one of the reasons that it is so disturbing when we see through the illusion, when, for a heartbeat, we see things as they really are and we are forcibly reminded of the fact that there is more to reality than the web of illusions we have created for ourselves.

But if we can get past that fear; if we can step beyond our need to view our reality from one preconceived notion of how things are supposed to be; into the heart of that clear blue soul, you will find yourself looking into the true nature of reality; into the heart of god.

Forget the Matrix.  It is the Hive that has you!

Ah, the idealization of bees. What a simple life they live; born with a purpose etched into their very fabric of being, a bee never questions its lot in life (well, not unless it’s a Disney bee, but that’s a whole different breed).  It simple does what it does, devoting its life to the hive and never questioning what it is that it was meant to do.

But when it comes right down to it, it is hard to be a bee. For one it’s a short life.  The lifespan of the average honey bee is only 28-35 days.  That’s it.  That is the lifespan of a worker honey bee. From the time the adult bee emerges from its larval cocoon a bee has roughly a month to live, and what does it do with its life?  It collects nectar which is turned into honey or pollen which is then turned into bee pollen or royal jelly.  The honey is collected to see the hive through the winter; the bee pollen and royal jelly is to feed the young bees that will soon be taking over the jobs of the current crop of workers.

From an individual perspective the bee doesn’t do much with its life at all. But from the hive’s perspective, the life of each individual bee is incredibly important with each bee’s role as a worker vitally important to maintain the life of the hive, and there is nothing that is seemingly more of an anathema to today’s humans than the thought that they might be living the life of a bee; working for the greater good of some larger group purpose and without the benefit of developing an individual identity or having a life to show for all of the hard work that they do.

There have been science fiction movies made about hive mentalities; horror stories where a person is absorbed into a larger consciousness and looses their independence and individuality, becoming a mindless automaton with no thought in their head except to conform to the expectations of their society.

There is just one problem.  We are already there, and most people don’t see it as a horror story at all.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, we have the illusion of freedom and independence and individuality; lots of choices of things to buy and entertainments to pursue and even of religions to follow; but just try doing something outside of the accepted parameters and see just how far you get before you are removed from the hive, or at least banished to the fringes where you don’t have the opportunity to take part in the active life of the community.

But even the thought of a society that has relegated us all to the status of worker bees; locked into our lives and expected to work tirelessly as productive members of society until we drop and are replaced with others; even that is not the true horror. The true horror is that we’ve chosen this. No, we haven’t just chosen it.  We’ve created it.  We wanted it.

We wanted it so badly that we willingly established rules and regulations and political procedures to keep it in place; we’ve created an education system that encourages young people to give up their individuality and creativity in exchange for economically productive jobs that they detest but that will pay the bills.  We’ve encouraged a society where productivity and usefulness is measured by one’s paycheck and one’s purchasing power.

It would be different if, instead of a hive mentality, we had chosen instead to establish a system of community; a society where each individual is accepted and valued for their uniqueness and their contribution to the richness and diversity of the whole.  In that sort of a society working for the good of the whole is not something to be feared; it is not something that will strip you of your energy and your individuality and leave you lying all alone in the mud when your economic usefulness to the society is at an end.  Instead it will encourage and promote individuality and creativity as the building blocks of a truly productive society; one that values all of its members for what they bring to the table, regardless of how large or small of a role they play.

Then again, just because we’ve lived in the hive does not mean that we have to die there.  Maybe it’s time for the bees to leave the square boxes of hives and designated Queens that have been provided for them by societal expectations and to establish the kind of thriving bee community that would make Disney proud.

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” ~ Lewis Carroll

If you don’t know what it is that you want, then how can you expect to ever get it?

Think about it; how many times have you felt that your life is not living up to your expectations; like there is something missing; something that you should be doing or that you should have and you can’t quite seem to put your finger on what, exactly, it is? How many times have you gotten the distinct impression that you are ‘settling’ for a life that contains less that you are capable of containing?

Like everyone else, I’d had this feeling myself; this vague, unfocused impression of a larger life; a template of my life if you will that existed just under the surface of reality; the life that I was always meant to live and that I could be living if only I knew how to bring it into my reality.

I’d daydreamed about the kind of life I wanted to have; the people and things that I wanted to be in it; but it always seemed like no more than a dream; wishful thinking all vague and unfocused; unfocused that is until the day that suddenly it all made sense.  In a blink I understood what it was that I’d been missing.

I still remember the moment vividly;   I was sitting at a coffee shop, across the table from a woman that I had just met. A complete stranger until fifteen minutes earlier, she’d been pouring her problems out to me for the last quarter of an hour and I’d been listening; curious as to usual about what it is that seems to inspire people to just start laying their problems out for me, when something she said snapped my consciousness into focus;

“I keep waiting for something to interesting to happen to me but nothing ever does,” she said, sounding rather forlorn.  “I keep getting the impression that I’ve, you know, just settled for something less than I should have.  That there really should be more to my life – I just don’t know what, and if only I could figure out what it is, then everything would fall into place.”  She sighed and took a sip of her coffee and went on to talk about other things, none of which I remember because my mind was busy being astounded.

Heaven only knows that it wasn’t the first time I’d heard someone say this.  In fact, I’d thought this myself on more than one occasion, but for some reason when that woman said it that morning in that coffee shop with the sun falling across our table at that exact angle, everything snapped into place with a crystalline clarity that took my breath away.

Having a vague idea of what I wanted was not enough you see.  Simply knowing that there was something bigger that I was supposed to be doing with my life wasn’t enough to bring that purpose to the surface.  Simply wanting my life to be better was not enough to make it so.

It was like I’d been spending my life creating an impressionist painting; a series of lines and dots and splotches of color; people and places and situations and experiences all randomly splashed onto my canvass; adhering only to the vaguest of outlines and without any but the vaguest impression of what it was that I was painting.

I’d been missing focus.

In those few minutes; the handful of minutes between the words spoken by this virtual stranger and the time she and her extra large mocha latte walked out of the shop to go on about her life, everything I’d ever read about visualization; about manifestation; about creating your own reality all of it finally made sense.  In order to live the life you were always meant to live there is one thing that you have to do; bring that life into the forefront of your awareness and bring all of your focus to bear on it.

Of course this is easier said than done; you have to be able to determine what, exactly, constitutes the kind of life that you want to be living and then be able to hold it in the forefront of your awareness, but once you have gotten to the point where you can keep your focus on what it is that you want to manifest in your life, you’ll be amazed at how quickly things will start falling into place for you and just how quickly the life you were meant to live becomes a reality.  There is just one important thing to remember – don’t focus on what it is that is missing and treat it as if it is missing.  Focus on it as if you already have it in your life; give thanks for it.  Tell yourself how glad you are that you have this particular thing in your life, then watch as it becomes a living breathing part of your reality.

Curious as to some ways to bring your own dreams into focus in your reality?  Try some of the following ideas, you just might be surprised at how well they work:

• Learning how to be mindful is a key ingredient in holding your focus, learn about Mindfulness Meditation HERE.
• Learning how to use Creative Visualization go can a long ways towards helping you to achieve your dreams.
• Learning to enhance your creative visualization skills with meditation can help you to bring your dreams to live.  learn more about Enhancing Creative Visualization with Meditation.
• Being able to see exactly what it is that you want is a technique that is discussed in the topic of Using Vision Boards

YOU ARE HERE.

How many times have we seen those words – usually on maps – and almost always accompanied by a large red X (with or without an arrow pointing to it) so that you know that THIS X, not some other random X, is the one you need to be paying attention to?

But be honest here, how much attention do you actually ever pay to the X?

I know exactly what happens because I’ve done it myself.

You pull into the rest area and run up to the map. “Okay, we’re here” you say, pointing to the X “and this is where we need to go,” you add, pointing to a place that is where the X is not. “So if we turn left…” and off you go, determined to get to your location to “do” whatever it is that you’re supposed to be doing or to get to where it is that you think you should be going.

The poor X never stands a chance.

But do you want to hear the really sad thing? Once you get to your destination, most people don’t pay any attention to it either – even though it’s a completely different X! Once they get to where it is they think they should be going, they are so busy doing what they think they should be doing; or planning out another leg of the journey, that they never stop to look around them and see just where it is that they ARE.

I still remember the first time I actually paid attention to the X.

We’d stopped at a roadside rest area (the kind with the lean-to of snack and soda machines and the big area map standing alone with its own small roof and helpful spotlights so that you can’t miss it – and a BIG RED X – with an arrow pointing to it.

In bold black words written beside it, this one said: YOU ARE HERE

and underneath, scribbled in messy black marker was one additional word: WHY?

It made me chuckle, but it also made me think.

You ARE here. Now. For good or bad, for better or worse. THIS is where you are at this present moment in time. I don’t care if the place where you currently are is a good place and everything seems to be going swimmingly, or a bad place where one more day is going to send you over the edge, or a place that is non-descript and really rather boring. The point is, YOU ARE HERE, and I bet you haven’t even taken the time to really look around you and appreciate the view much less to see if there is anything interesting going on.

Why?

Perhaps it IS just a stopping point, a rest area; a red X on the map of your soul journey, but it is still a part of your journey, and if you’re going make the trip, you might as well enjoy the scenery, because who knows, maybe there IS no destination.
For all we know, experiencing each moment of now; each moment in which we find ourselves; may be all the purpose there is.

If so, we’re messing it up big time.

So the next time you find yourself looking at that big map comparing how far you’ve come and how far there is yet to go, take a moment to stop and look around you. Are there other people at your rest area? What are they doing? How’s the view? Is that maharachi music coming from the other side of the kiosk?
Yes, I know, you don’t want to linger too long. After all, you have a journey to undertake and you want to get there as soon as possible, but take a few moments to appreciate where you are; the HERE that you are currently standing at, and the churros at that little stand on the other side of the map.

So….are we there yet?

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

How many hours have you spent living in pain?  Oh, I’m not talking about physical conditions here; broken bones and painful illnesses and things that can be relieved by popping a few pills or taking a hot bath.  No, the pain I’m talking about is the pain that twists your heart into a knot; the kind that pierces you insides; the kind of pain comes from reliving painful memories and circumstances over and over again; playing them out on the movie screen of your mind in all of their gory detail.

Perhaps they are old memories; things that happened long ago and far away; things that impacted your childhood or things that you have simply not been able to let go of.  Or maybe the painful event happened just this morning; someone saying something unintentionally hurtful as they walked out the door, and you can’t keep your mind from going over and over what was said.

But not only does the scene replay over and over again in your mind, you then find yourself going over all of the possible interpretations and connotations of what was said.  Why did they say that?  Was it something you said or did that prompted them to react that way?  Could you have done something to prevent it?   What did they mean by it?

Before you know it, minutes, sometimes hours have passed and you have absolutely nothing to show for all of your worry but a headache and a tear stained face.  You haven’t had breakfast.  You can’t focus on your work, you’ve called or texted half a dozen different people asking for their input on the situation; their interpretation of what happened, and when they can’t give you a satisfactory answer you find yourself snapping at everyone around you, and all because you can’t let go.

Ah, that wasn’t what you expected me to say, is it?  I’m sorry; did you think I was going to say that the pain you have been experiencing is all because of the event that happened so long ago; all because of the hurtful things that the person said as they were leaving?  Did you think I was going to tell you what a brave soul you are for having to relive that horrible time; to re-experience those negatively associated comments and those situations that scared you for life?  Well, I’m not, because it’s not true.

You are not feeling bad because of what the person said – or because of whatever it is that happened to you in the past.  You are not a brave soul for being able to relive your memories stoically (or even tearfully).  What you are is being selfish, and your selfishness is hurting you.

Does that sound rather harsh?  Perhaps it does.  But that does not make it any less true.

As humans, we cling to our pain – it’s what we do, and there certainly seems to be enough of it around.  We pin our hopes and expectations onto people and circumstances; onto events and outcomes, and when they fail to live up to our expectations, we feel hurt and rejected. We experience pain.

But we can’t simply let it go at that.  We can’t simply feel the pain and then move on.  Oh no, we have to cling to our pain.  It wasn’t simply enough to experience it.  We have to own it.  We have to keep it close, locked away in a pretty carved box; one that we can take out and rummage through whenever we feel the urge to trust again; whenever we feel the urge to live.

We cling to the memories of those things that hurt us because we have an instinctive urge to avoid pain; because we don’t want to be hurt that way ever again, and reliving that painful event or circumstance; playing that memory over and over again in our minds is our way of protecting ourselves against its ever repeating.  The thing is, in making ourselves repeat these memories over and over again, we are hurting ourselves far worse than the event ever could – or did.  Instead of experiencing the pain once; learning from it and moving on, we force ourselves to experience it time and time again.

It is far better to let go of all of the old hurts and painful memories. Will this leave you open to being hurt again?  Of course it will.  But if you want to really live and not hide yourself away, it is a chance you are going to have to take.

Try it.

When you find yourself recalling a painful experience, instead of letting it play out in your head, stop it in its tracks.  Lift it out of your mind complete and whole as you would a flower that you have picked and hold it in front of you; over a pond or river in your imagination.  Acknowledge the pain that the memory caused, and then let it go. Drop it into the water.  It is gone.  The fear and the pain that were attached to it are gone too.

Will this leave you vulnerable to be hurt again?  Yes it will.  But it will also give you a freedom and lightness of being that will make your spirit soar seeing as that it is no longer weighted down with the fears and expectations that you had given to it for safekeeping.

Besides, if you remember that the pain of experience comes not from the experience itself but rather from what we tell ourselves about the experience then you will find the way that you view your experiences changing radically, all it takes is a shift in perception, and the ability to let go.

There is nothing, nothing like holding your child in your arms for the first time; looking down at her face; the perfect features; tiny fingers and toes.  The knowledge that you have created life is so awe inspiring that it takes your breath away and sends you into a world of awe and wonder from which you don’t emerge until you bring her home from the hospital and suddenly realize that not only have you created life, but now you’re responsible for it.  And you are not just responsible for today, or for this week, but for the next 18 years. It is then you realize that your life is never going to be the same again.

I still remember the day that my husband and I brought our brand new baby girl back from the hospital.  I took her out of the carrier and handed her to my husband while I unpacked my overnight bag.  When I came out he was still standing where I’d left him.  He looked at me and, in a stunned voice said “now what?”  It only took a moment before we were both laughing rather hysterically.

Now what indeed!

Now we become parents.

And becoming a parent is not a temporary role.  It’s not something that stops when your child turns 18 or goes to college, finally gets their own apartment, gets married or even has children of their own. Being a parent is something that will follow you for the rest of your life.

But it’s the concept of responsibility that comes with the title of “parent” that hits you right between the eyes, and it’s each parent’s interpretation of responsibility where things really get interesting.

For some the responsibility of being a parent becomes a power struggle; an attempt to control their child in order to ensure that they fit into a particular mold; that they become the kind of person that the parent believes that they should.  For others, the responsibility of becoming a parent means helping the child to become their own person; to take responsibility for themselves and to give them the tools to craft a life for themselves out of the raw materials of childhood. In short, it is your parents’ definition of responsibility that determines your own take on the subject.

Those whose parents were open with them; who allowed for the child’s own interests, skills and abilities to be valued; those whose parents encouraged them to take increasing amounts of responsibility for their own lives as they matured will find the idea of taking responsibility for creating their reality as a logical outgrowth of this process.

For those whose parents were controlling and domineering – even if it was with the best of intentions and the desire to protect the child from those things that might harm them – the idea of taking responsibility for your own life; of listening to your own heart when it comes to the decisions that you make can be a foreign one indeed.  They have become so conditioned to doing what they were instructed to do by their families; by their schools and governments and societies that the idea of taking responsibility for their own lives is about as familiar as the Arabic language, and inspires the same sort of fear-based avoidance.

Of course this does not mean that there is no hope for those whose parents brought them up to conform to the standards that they, their society or religion or government imposed on them.  It simply means that there are more layers to be peeled away before you can get down to the task of re-inventing yourself as the kind of person that you were meant to be.

Peeling away these layers can be a painful and time consuming process, and whether you choose to work through them yourself by reading self-help books, taking up meditation or chronologically journaling your life (and all of the bitterness and resentments that tend to surface during the process) or whether you choose to seek outside assistance in the form of a psychiatrist or spiritual counselor, it is well worth the effort and can lead to the kind of life that you have always wished for yourself.

It can also completely revolutionize the way that you view parenting and the importance of everything that you say and do to influence your child as well as the impact of every decision that you make that affects them.  It doesn’t matter if your child is two or twenty; your own ability to strip away those layers upon layers of conditioning in order to take responsibility for your own life can make a world of difference, not just for you, but for all the generations yet to come.

And that, my friends, is the true power of responsibility.

No, let me correct that – I love the build up to a thunderstorm; the roiling black clouds that build up on the horizon, the increasing pressure in the air, the heady scent of ozone and the wind as it starts gusting through my yard making the roses toss their heads; shaking off random petals and the trees to turn their leaves inside out as if they were opening up invisible umbrellas.

I’m in luck then, because ‘tis the season’ in my part of the country; the season when it seems that we have a thunderstorm nearly every day, and that is just fine by me!  In fact, its times like this when I find myself heading out of doors where I can kick off my shoes and feel the answering energy coming up through the ground; an energy that is reflected in the bolts of lightning that light up the underside of those dark clouds on the horizon.

Today I was already out of doors; clipping dead heads off of the wild climbing roses that cover the side of my house when I noticed the light beginning to grow dim and the temperature begin to drop as the wind picked up and began whipping my hair into my face.  As if on cue with the first gust of wind from nearly directly overhead I heard the cry of a hawk and immediately looked up, trying to zero in on its location.

Almost directly overhead; flying just beneath the building storm clouds (just where the storm clouds overlapped with the still clear sky) were a number of hawks – at least half a dozen of them.  They were riding the clashing air currents in the most beautiful balletic movements; not one flapping of a wing, simply soaring; wings outstretched; from current to current; rising in the thermal updrafts before plunging and gliding and catching the next updraft. It literally took my breath away.

I stood there, pruning shears in hand, and found myself crying at the beauty of it; for the absolute freedom of the hawks and their unadulterated joy in riding the currents; crying for those of us who are continually flapping our wings – focused on our goals; determined to get somewhere – sometimes anywhere other than where we are – and in so doing fail to take advantage of the opportunities that we are being presented with right here and now; failing to appreciate beauty and mystery that surround us in every moment no matter where we find ourselves.

So many of us find ourselves confronted with an approaching storm; with imminent change; with situations that fall outside of our comfort zone and so, scared to death, we fight it; flapping our wings wildly against the insistent currents of change and updrafts of opportunity; determined that we are going to get to where we have decided to go instead of allowing the universe to move us in the direction that is best for our spiritual growth and evolution.

If only we would stop fighting; stop flapping; and simply let ourselves soar; riding the currents of change with pure, unadulterated joy; trusting that the storm front is there for a reason and that it will take us to where we need to go.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain!”

There is nothing like a good thunderstorm to stir the soul

Seriously, there is just something about the power of an approaching storm that holds me in absolute awe.  Not terror; awe.  The pure majesty of it; the strength of it; the promise of release in the whipping of the wind and the scent of wonder and possibility that fills my head with its overpowering fragrance; what’s not to be amazed at?

When the dark clouds start rolling in and the pressure starts building and the leaves start turning themselves inside out and glinting silver against a darkening sky, most people head for cover after checking to make sure they’ve rolled up the car windows and brought in the dog.  I on the other hand (and much to my husband’s annoyance) go around throwing open the windows as far as they will go and then head out into the yard to welcome it.

I’ve done this since I was a little girl, and I can remember my grandmother (who was deathly afraid of thunderstorms) calling after me frantically as I’d dash out the back door as the first thunderclap rattled the clouds on the horizon in order to dance like a gypsy around the big blue spruce that grew behind our house.

I’d dance and dance in wild abandon, letting the percussion of the thunder serve as my rhythm and as the wind picked up I’d end up twirling through the tall grass and the lupines that grew on the hill beneath the blue spruce until I’d fall flat on my back and watch the towering clouds in their never-ending patterns take over the sky.

Eventually my gram would send one of my aunts or more often my grandfather out to collect me (he did not have the fear of storms she did) but even so I’d beg him to not to make me go in until the lightning was almost directly overhead, and it was he who taught me to count the spaces between thunderclaps in order to determine their distance and explained why it was that the leaves turned inside out.

Even once I was back inside I’d be glued to the window; staring in amazement at the streaks of lightning and the power of the whipping wind as it would throw the trees into complete disarray.  Of course once the storm front would pass by and it started to seriously rain, I’d lose all interest and wander off in search of other pursuits, but during the storm itself, you couldn’t tear me away.

Even once I started school and learned about weather systems and barometric pressure and electricity and Ben Franklin and his kite (yeah, they still taught that story when I went to school) I still couldn’t seem to shake my fascination with storms.  It didn’t matter how many statistics people would throw at me about the number of people to be hit by lightning every year; or the dangers of flash floods or how expensive it was to replace furniture that had been water damaged because I’d left the bedroom window open while it was raining, the power of storms has never lost their hold over me.

Of course part of the fascination that I had was in the building sensations inside of my own body; how my own energy would build in proportion to the storm itself, and how it would dissipate as the storm would break, with the tension and the excitement pouring out of me like a could burst.

And part of it was the underlying feeling that there was something else lying just beneath the surface of my mind; a bigger, stronger part of me; a knowing of myself that went far beyond the little girl in jeans and braids who was laughing manically while twirling around the spruce tree, because for just a minute I could feel that connection with everyone and everything.

I could feel myself as the wind whipping through the trees and through my hair and filling the sails of the boats on the harbor.  I could see myself as the lightning; as the skin tingling energy that filled the air and lit up the night sky; I could sense myself as everything from the grass between my toes to the huge towering clouds.

For just a moment I was part of something far greater than myself; my little individualistic and independent personhood was gone.  For just a moment I could feel the universe inside me; moving through me.  And maybe, at the heart of it, that is what most people are afraid of.

Perhaps they are not really afraid of the lightning or the flash floods or of losing power.  Maybe it’s not the rain that they are shutting out when they go around closing the windows.  Maybe what they are shutting out isn’t the lightning or the whipping wind or the furniture ruining rain.

Maybe what they are shutting out is the fear of experiencing what they have known (even if subconsciously) all along; that they are part of something far bigger than themselves; that at the fundamental heart of things we are all connected and that all of those things that we feel make us “special” and “different” are just the imaginations of a fevered ego that is trying desperately to justify its reason for being.

Maybe it’s time to stop fearing the storm and throw open the windows.  Or, better yet, perhaps it’s time to go dancing in the rain.

“Life does not put things in front of you that you are unable to handle.”

~ Unknown

How many times have you been faced with a seemingly hopeless situation and have ended up avoiding it altogether because it seems so impossible?

Oh don’t look at me like that.  Everyone does it.  You’re life is clicking along seamlessly (well, if not seamlessly than at least without too many potholes) and suddenly you come face to face with something that seems insurmountable.  The problem is just too big.  You’re not ready for this.  You don’t have the resources to handle it.  No one’s ever taught you how to handle something like this.

So what do you do?  If you are like most of us, you’ll find a way to avoid the situation altogether.  Either you will play the victim, run away from your problem, or pretend that it doesn’t exist.

Playing the Victim

Playing the victim is usually the easiest choice.  After all, you didn’t ask for this to happen, did you? That makes it easy to feel as if you are being ‘put upon’ or being manipulated by circumstances beyond your control.

Believe it or not, this belief; that we don’t have any choice in what happens to us; is a belief that is almost as old as mankind itself; almost a kind of archetypal thinking.  It is this overwhelming sense of helplessness that has spawned many of today’s religious belief systems, especially the kind with the evil villain/good savior dualism that puts both “good” and “bad” things firmly outside of your ability to control or handle on your own.

More recently victimization has taken a more psychological bent with psychiatrists helping individuals to come to terms with their victimization by pinpointing who or what is responsible for what has happened to them.  But even though it at least helps the individual to take responsibility for the feelings that they are having now, it is still feeding that ages old concept of being a victim.

The thing is, for all that it is easier to blame someone else; for all that it makes us feel better to not have to take responsibility for what has happened to us, it is the rare individual who doesn’t understand – even if it is on a deep, subconscious level, that the whole concept of victimization is, for the most part, something that is used to help us avoid having to deal with frightening or unpleasant situations.

Run for the Hills!

Running away is probably the next most popular means of avoidance.  Honestly, what can be more to the point than coming head to head with a seemingly insurmountable problem and simply giving up and walking away?  This is the most basic of avoidance instincts – the “flight” part of the fight or flight instinct that is built into nearly every living creature on the planet.

By removing yourself from the situation you can avoid having to deal with it.  There’s just one problem.  Running away has become associated with being a coward in modern society.  Of course we don’t want to look like cowards, so we come up with any number of ways to convince ourselves that we “can’t” deal with the situation, or that we really don’t have the time to be bothered by it.

These can include everything from literally physically walking away or withdrawing from the situation, to immersing yourself in work or drink, overeating, politics, drugs, sex, fantasy fiction, the nightly news or anything else that will keep you from having to think about the problem.

Once again, there isn’t a human alive that doesn’t understand that running away from your issues, (whether it is physically walking away from the situation or in masking your fears or worries by wrapping yourself up in layers of protective habits) is not going to resolve the situation.  This is why Alcoholics Anonymous and so many other 12 step programs have become so popular in the last two decades.  People know what they are doing.  They understand that there are issues that they are avoiding and that they have developed “methods” of avoidance that can’t be classified as cowardice in order to avoid their problems.  This leaves us our good old flightless birds, the Ostriches.

Playing the Ostrich

The last avoidance option; sticking your head in the sand and pretending that there is nothing wrong; is one that is used by those who do not choose to employ any of the “flight” options listed above such as playing the victim or running away.

Perhaps they are too honest with themselves to be able to walk away from the situation.  They know that running isn’t going to solve it, and they have enough understanding to realize that they have nothing or no one to blame but themselves.  However, these individuals tend to opt for another, less obvious (and sometimes more harmful) method of avoidance.  They pretend that the problem doesn’t exist.

Now yes, I’ll be the first one to say that you do create your own reality, and that you have the power and the ability to choose your life; your state of mind.  I’ll even agree that your thoughts determine your reality and that by focusing on the negative you are bound to bring more of the same into your life. But there is a decided difference between a fully conscious human who uses their creative abilities to sculpt their life to their specifications through intentional and authentic living, and someone who simply refuses to see what is right in front of them because it is unpleasant or frightening and they don’t want to have to deal with it.

Dealing with the issue is not dwelling on the negative.  In fact, many times it is the means by which we can remove the negative from our lives once and for all and focus on maintaining the positive life that we want for ourselves.  But we can’t kid ourselves and pretend that these issues do not exist.  That is just asking for trouble.

While this last avoidance issue is by far the most insidious and the most difficult to deal with, there is one sure way to break the Ostrich’s habit, and that is to break his egg.

Breaking the Ostrich Egg

Contrary to popular belief, Ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand to avoid confronting danger.  This myth is thought to have originated with a quote from Pliny the Elder who wrote about Ostriches thrusting their head and neck into a bush and imagining that their whole body is concealed.  Actually, Pliny was wrong – they don’t even stick their heads in a shrub – they simply lay their necks out flat along the ground and spread out their wings to keep as low of a profile as possible.  This causes their bodies to appear – from a distance – like a shrub or low mound of dirt.

This of course makes sense when you realize that from a camouflaging point of view that the body of an ostrich really does resemble the kind of shrubs that abound in the Australian outback. So when the Ostrich’s elongated neck is concealed or isn’t immediately visible, most predators will simply walk right by them and not even notice.  But the fact is that most Ostriches only hide in certain situations; such as when they are laying eggs or have been physically injured.  Most times when an ostrich is threatened they don’t hide – they run.

This also makes sense, because the Ostrich is a fast runner. It’s true; they’ve been clocked at speeds up to 45 mph, which makes running away from a predator a very good option.  They can also maintain a steady running speed of about 32mph, which makes them the world’s fastest two-legged animal.  The thing is that there are times when an Ostrich simply will not run; when they refuse to run.  The most well-known of these is when their nest is threatened.

Indeed, threaten an Ostrich’s nest or (heaven forbid) break its egg, and the game is up.  You will see a different side of the Ostrich, one that most people don’t even suspect exists, because the Ostrich is also an extremely fierce and effective fighter.  Their powerful legs can deal out kicks that can seriously injure or even kill a predator, and their very strong and sharp beaks (driven by those muscular necks) can make quick work out of anyone or anything that threatens them.

So, Why are You Running?

Like the Ostrich, you too have the ability to not only face your problems, but to work through them.  While there may be a time and a place to blend in with your surroundings, or even to run, there is nothing keeping you from using your strengths (and you do have them!) to address the issue at hand.

It doesn’t matter what you are being asked to face. It doesn’t matter whether or not you have the right skills; the right training; the right credentials to handle the situations. It doesn’t even matter whether or not anyone believes that you can do it (including yourself!).  If the universe has presented you with a challenge, it is because you are ready to take it on.

Does this mean that you will inevitably succeed at what it is that you are attempting? Of course not.  Well, actually, it depends I suppose on your definition of success.  In fact, sometimes the whole point of the challenge is to help you uncover those things inside of yourself that will allow you to handle this sort of situation.  So if it is your first time facing up to this kind of situation- to this kind of challenge – then it may take several attempts for you to get it right.

But the point is that when you are presented with a challenging situation – even a seemingly hopeless situation – it doesn’t do you any good to blame someone else, to run away, or to pretend that the situation doesn’t exist. It was put in front of you for a reason.  It’s up to you to make the most of it.

Truly, mysteries abound.  The secrets of fierce nuclear fusion that give birth to the life-giving warmth of our sun, the cycling of our stars and the complex combination of interlocking chemical and biological systems that make up the human body.

But probably one of the most amazingly mysterious and magical concepts is the fact that each of these mysteries; each of these intricate layers of creation is connected to everything else around it.  Like the spider dancing across the strings of her web; we too are connected to everything around us.  We share our energy with that spider.  We dance to the sinuous music of the wind in the trees and in our hearts burns the same fierce brightness that fuels the sun itself.

You don’t believe me?  Go out into your yard before dawn some morning; go out in your bare feet and feel the dew on the grass beneath your toes; close your eyes and let the silence soak into your skin; feel the stirring of the wind; feel the power of the earth soaking into the soles of your feet.  Listen as the birds begin to welcome the first rays of sunlight; then open your eyes and watch as morning breaks and then tell me that you are not connected to everything around you.

It’s just that sometimes there is so much to take in.  Sometimes it is too much to take in.  Sometimes it feels that if we try to take it all in our hearts will burst with the sheer beauty of it.  In fact, chances are that the last time you truly took the time to let yourself connect to everything and everyone around you was when you were a child; when you could still comprehend the vastness and the mystery of it without needing to understand why.

No, for most of us there comes a time when our openness and willingness to accept our connection to everyone and everything becomes too much to bear.  Usually this occurs when someone or something within our web lets us down; when we can no longer see the beauty of the connection because of the pain of disappointment and dashed hopes; when even trying to see this connection hurts us too much and we withdraw to a safer, less vibrant level of reality where it won’t hurt so bad because we are no longer as open to life.

And it doesn’t end with our first step away from openness.  Most of us spend our lives narrowing our connection.  For most of us, our webs of connection to the world around us get smaller and smaller over the years; our connections fewer as people and circumstances fail to live up to our expectations.  And instead of dealing with the pain we simply narrow our focus; spinning smaller and smaller webs until finally the last filaments of our once glorious web drift away in the evening breeze because of our neglect and we sit forlorn on the fencepost; alone and unconnected and waiting for the end.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.

That talented spider with her delicately spun web does not let a little thing like a disappointment or discouragement –or even failed expectations keep her from maintaining her glorious web.  She spins and spins and spins and spins again.  And even when her web is broken by struggling insects; by gales of disappointment; by the careless actions of others; she quickly re-creates her web, continually opening herself back up – yes, to the pain and the disappointments – but also to the beauty and the wonder that caused her to choose that particular place to spin a web in to begin with.

So what is keeping you?

What is keeping you from re-spinning that web; those connections that you had in childhood; those connections that bound you with awe and reverence to the wonder and the mystery that surrounds you?

The only thing that is keeping you from once more opening yourself up to the joy and beauty that could be yours is your fear; the fear of disappointment; the fear pain; the fear that once your web has been torn apart you won’t have the strength to spin it out again.

Funny thing that, because the spider doesn’t even question whether or not she has the strength; she simply chooses to spin; stretching herself out to catch every subtle drop of beauty and possibility that is her birthright and accepting the pain as part of what it means to be alive.

“Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby”

~ Langston Hughes

When my daughters were small, I remember a day when I had taken them out for lunch.  While we were inside eating it started to rain.  This wasn’t just a pleasant summer afternoon rain shower, but a full-on wash-the-skies-clean kind of torrential rain; the kind that leaves everything soggy for hours afterwards; even the air.

It was still raining (though not quite so hard) by the time we left the restaurant and both of my girls were squealing in delight at the sheer number of puddles in the parking lot.  Some of the puddles, I noticed, were as large as small ponds, and probably just as deep.

Pausing to open my umbrella after a warning to both of the girls about keeping their feet dry, I let go of my youngest daughter’s hand for an instant, and a moment later she was knee deep in a puddle, giggling madly and splashing like a duck.  With a cry of warning I snatched her out; wrung out her dress as you would a washcloth and, after admonishing both of them (again) to stay out of the puddles because we had a long ride in the car ahead of us, we slowly made our way to the car; navigating around puddles and trying for the dry spots. Or rather I was trying for the dry spots.  Both of my daughters were angling for the puddles and my shoulders were starting to get sore from pulling them back.

We were about halfway across the parking lot when I noticed a brightly colored figure headed in our direction.  It was a woman; an old woman.  With her pure white nimbus of hair and a face lined in a thousand wrinkles, she looked like one of those dried apple head dolls that the pioneers used to make.  But it wasn’t her age that caught my attention, nor was it her attire (she was dressed in a bright yellow rain slicker, red rain boots, a purple rain hat).  What caught my attention was that she was making a point not to avoid the puddles, but to jump in them.

I stood there – stunned; unable to tear my eyes away, though I could see from the corner of my eye that both of my girls were watching her with absolute awe and rapture.

Finally, when her puddle jumping brought her to within a few feet of where I stood, she realized that there was someone in front of her and paused in her puddle jumping long enough to look up and meet my eye.  The stunned expression on my face must have amused her, because she grinned from ear to ear and then threw her head back and laughed like a loon.

“Aw sweetie,” she said to me finally – a grin still in her voice – it’s not as bad as all that.  Really, I’ve been waiting all my life to do this!  You’ll see.  One day you’ll jump in the puddles too.”  And then, with another grin for me and a wave for the girls, she had passed us, and life went back to normal. Well, almost normal.  I didn’t have the heart to keep the girls out of the puddles after that, and it was a long and soggy trip home.

But even now, years later I can’t get that woman and her bright red rain boots out of my mind, for how far do most of us go to avoid what we perceive as the negative things in our lives?

Honestly, I know that dealing with negative people and negative situations is unpleasant – and something most of us will avoid like the plague if given the chance, but how do we know that those puddles of negativity haven’t been put in our way for a reason? How do we know that we aren’t supposed to go through them instead of around them?

Who knows, those puddles might not even have been put in our way for our own experience.  Maybe, just maybe, someone on the other side of the parking lot is watching us; someone who has been avoiding negative situations of their own because they don’t have the courage to face them.

And maybe, just maybe, when they see you splashing through those problems in your red rain boots and laughing like a loon, they’ll find the courage to do something that they’ve never thought possible.

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of butterflies?  Is it of delicate airy wisps with fragile, colorful wings that soar through sunshine and shadow and feed directly on the nectar of flowers?

Well, I can’t blame you if that is your take on them.  They are lovely creatures, and watching them flutter from flower to flower in a garden or lend their grace to a meadow can be peaceful to the point of transcendence; but what of the darker side of the butterfly’s life?

Oh come now, you didn’t think it was all rainbows and moonbeams did you?  You didn’t think that once a caterpillar becomes a butterfly that its worries are over did you?  That all the bad things in its world would automatically dissipate into the mist of ambrosia and enlightenment?  If so, you may want to think again.

Yes, a butterfly has wings.  Unlike its caterpillar brethren it is not earthbound.  It can choose to soar above all of those things which – when it was in its caterpillar form – were insurmountable obstacles.  But this ability to transcend those things that others find nearly impossible comes inexorably linked with the ability to see more of both the good and the bad, and not only to see them, but to experience them fully.

You see, with the change in its body structure comes a change in metabolism and nutritional needs, including the need for more nutrients such as salts and amino acids; nutrients that can only be found in limited amounts in flower nectars, which is why it is not uncommon to see butterflies ingesting the liquids put out by wet soil, dung and even carrion as well as blood and in some cases even the tears of some birds and mammals in order to supply themselves with the nutrients needed to continue their lives.

Let me be clear, this does not make the butterfly a killer.  It can no more kill another creature than a feather duster could harm a washcloth, but in the course of its existence as a creature of the skies with a wider view of reality, it sees more than its caterpillar brethren.

Not only does it see more – it understands that in order to be what it is; in order to continue to bring love and light and understanding to all it interacts with it cannot simply dine on nectar and drift on obligatory breezes.  It also has to be able to stomach the harsher realities of life.  It has to be able to ingest the pain and the suffering of others in order to transform them into love and light.  It has to be able to get its feelers dirty (metaphorically speaking) in order to enact any real change in the world around it.

More importantly, it has transformed itself from a self-absorbed caterpillar whose only goal is to eat enough leaves to enact its own personal change, into a butterfly; a creature that understands that it is but a part of the larger picture; one strand in the web of life that enables the existence of everything that is.

No, not everything about going through the transformational process from caterpillar to chrysalis to butterfly is pleasant.  The caterpillar has a far simpler and less complicated life.  The creature in its chrysalis state may know pain, but it does not yet have to deal with the pain of others.  But once the transformation is complete, the hurt can sometimes seem unbearable.  But with the price of admission into the butterfly kingdom comes the joy of knowing that when the negative becomes too much to bear, you can choose to open your wings and fly.

©2012 SSHenry

No, seriously, everybody lives.  Unless you’ve been in a serious accident and are fighting for every breath you take, living is not something you actually have to think about.  It simply happens, usually when you aren’t paying attention.  In fact, one day you look up and realize that half your life has gone by and wonder where the devil it’s gone.  It was just here for pity’s sakes.

Suddenly you realize that you’ve slipped so far into routine that you’re drowning in it.  For whatever reason your life has become mundane – each day just like the one before, and it doesn’t matter how good your life actually is.  It doesn’t matter how nice your house is, or your car.  It doesn’t matter how much (or how little) money you have in the bank – your life is being lived – you’re not living an intentional life.  So, what is the difference? What does it mean to live intentionally?

What is Intentional Living?

Intentional living is not about turning your life upside down.  It is not even about manifesting change in your life.  Intentional living is about being here – now; it is about doing everything you do with complete and total awareness of what it is that you are doing and why it is that you are doing it.

From eating your breakfast to sitting through that aptly named board meeting; from playing Frisbee with your kids to walking the dog; you need to pay attention to what it is that you are doing.  You need to use your mastery of everyday mindfulness to pay attention to what is happening in your life and to be totally in the moment as you do it; paying attention to all the details and being open to all the nuances.  And yes, I’ll tell you right now, it’s harder than it seems.

You see, we have this sense of urgency that surrounds everything that we do.  I’m sure you’ve noticed it.  When you are doing something mundane or boring your mind tends to either shut off or to race ahead to what needs to be done next or sometimes berate us over past mistakes and things that we could have done better.  Very rarely are we actually fully in the moment.  Well, it’s time to change all of that.

Living the Intentional Life

Using your mastery of mindfulness to pay attention to what is happening here and now, you’re going to make some interesting discoveries.  You are going to find that there are things that are a part of your life that no longer serve you.  You may have gone years – or even decades without realizing what you were doing; the time you were wasting on something that you really have absolutely no interest in whatsoever; things in your life that are just taking up space.

So, why are you still doing them?  Why have you kept them all these years?  What is keeping you from letting go of those things that no longer serve you so that you can make room in your life for something that actually makes a difference?  Yes, I’m sure that if you think hard enough you can find a reason to keep them in your life.  But is it worth it?  Is the time, effort and energy that you spend on them worth what is given back to you in the satisfaction of possession or in the completion of the action itself? If you were fully present every time you did this – used this – would you still want it in your life?

And it won’t just be physical objects or routines that you find cluttering up your life.  You’re going to run into friendships, acquaintances, even romantic relationships that are called into question, especially if – once you start actually paying attention to them – you find that neither of you is getting anything out of it; or if the relationship is unbalanced.  Just like physical objects and everyday routines, sometimes there are relationships that have run their course; that we hold onto out of habit, but that would serve everyone better if we simply let them go.

But it isn’t just about getting rid of the excess; of the mundane; of those things that no longer serve you or that have run their course.  Living intentionally is also about coming to a realization of those things that you are missing; those things that you really want to be a part of your life but didn’t realize were missing until you started paying attention to what you actually had.   Only once you realize what it is that you really want can you go about taking the necessary steps to bring it into your life.

So go ahead – start today!  Start paying attention to the life that you are living.  Start living your life intentionally.  Stop living on autopilot; never fully engaged in what it is that you are doing, and start putting a part of yourself; a part of your energy; into everything that you do.  Start being fully present in every relationship you are a part of and not just because you have to; not just because you feel obligated; but because you want to; because at that particular moment in time there is nothing you would rather be doing, for in the end that is the only way to really be alive.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!  Live the life you’ve imagined.  

~ Thoreau

It’s going to happen.  One morning you are going to wake up and realize that today is the first day of forever.  It will happen when you are ready for it to; this first day of forever.

It will happen when you have decided to stop looking for happiness as you would an object you have lost and instead choose to be happy.

It will happen when you stop looking for wonder and mystery long enough to open your eyes and see the wondrous and mysterious things that surround you in every moment of the day.

It will happen when you stop looking for someone outside of yourself to blame for everything in your life that you have seen as evil or negative and finally realize that everything that happens to you is a result of decisions that you have made in the past.

It will happen when you finally realize that the only one who has the power to change your present circumstances – is you.

You see, there comes a point when it becomes clear that there is no one else that you can blame for the situations in which you find yourself.  I don’t care how dysfunctional your childhood family was or what negative circumstances you had to deal with as you were growing up or how many of your relationships have failed.  It’s still your fault. You brought this on yourself.  If you had been paying attention, you would never be in the situation that you are in now.

Oh, I’m sorry, is that too harsh?  Would you rather hear that it is all “their” fault?  That you can put the blame for the person that you have become on your parents or on the partners of failed relationships or on the seemingly random and chance events that have created the life that you are currently living? Or maybe you’d prefer the concept of a random and chance universe where bad things happen to good people for absolutely no reason.

It would be easier if I did that, wouldn’t it? It would be easier to be able to point fingers and place blame and sigh about how much better your life would be if only this or that hadn’t happened or if only this or that would.  Ah yes, much easier than actually getting out there and doing something about it.

You see it is your fault; all of it.  The circumstances you have found yourself in, the problems that you are being faced with, the seemingly random events that make no logical sense; they are all of them the result of your past focus and actions.  These are not tests by a divinity or temptations by an evil being.  You have drawn them to you by the focus of yesterday’s thoughts; the focus of yesterday’s energy.

And what about the seeming randomness of so many events and circumstances?  Well here’s the thing, chances are that you didn’t realize yesterday that your current attitude was going to have an effect on tomorrow’s events.  You probably weren’t paying attention to what you were thinking about; to the direction that your chaotic emotions were pointing you in.  You simply went with it.  You let your emotions control your thoughts and you let your thoughts control the focus of your energy.  And so it was that your energy was focused – unintentionally mind you – but focused nonetheless.  And what you were focused on is what you brought into your life today.

And yes, there are random circumstances that are not the result of your intentional (or unintentional) focus of energy but which are in fact the result of someone else’s intentional (or unintentional) focus of energy.  But here’s the thing, it is still up to you as to how you react or respond to these circumstances.

The random traffic accident that is not caused by anything you did wrong but rather by someone else being in too big of a hurry to stop at the light.  That accident may in no way be your fault, or even the result of your previous actions.  There may have been absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it.  But first, that does not mean that you didn’t bring the event into your life.  Secondly, it does not mean that you have to allow your emotions to control how you react to that event.

You can choose to get upset and let it ruin your entire day, or you can calmly and coolly exchange insurance information and go on about your business knowing that while it may have seemed to be a random accident may instead have been your higher self’s way of ensuring that you’ve learned what you need to know about controlling your temper or about letting your emotions control your reactions.

And it doesn’t matter how big or small the circumstance.  It doesn’t matter how mundane an action or how life changing of an event you are faced with.  The truth of the matter still remains; you can control tomorrow’s reality by how you choose to react and respond to today’s events and circumstances.

You can stop letting your body-generated emotions dictate tomorrow’s reality and instead take the necessary steps to ensuring that tomorrow you will be living the life you always imagined.  And when you have done this for long enough there will come that morning when you wake up to realize that tomorrow is today, and that today is, finally, the first day of forever.

~ Maynard James Keenan

You have heard, I am sure, of the circle of life.  Anyone who has watched the Disney Classic “The Lion King” has felt themselves tearing up (or at least in awe) while sitting through that opening number where the interconnectedness of all of nature is emphasized (and with a phenomenal musical score nonetheless).  But when it comes to the concept of spiritual evolution, it isn’t so much a circle as it is a spiral.

Circles are perfect.  Just ask the Zen masters who saw the circle as the embodiment of absolute enlightenment.  Called the ensō, this circle represented strength as well as elegance.  It was used to represent both the void and the universe in all its wild complexity and, more recently, has come to be seen as an expression of the moment and the perfect completeness of “now.”

This is all fine and good for representing the perfection of enlightenment.  But what about what comes before?  Better yet – what about that which comes after?

Enlightenment, you see, isn’t the end.

Wait, what?  Isn’t that what this is all about?  Isn’t enlightenment the whole purpose of spiritual evolution?  Isn’t the prospect of enlightenment all about the perfectness of the moment, of that instant when everything becomes clear to you and you finally realize the true nature of reality and the reason that you have been put on this earth?

Of course it is.  But that doesn’t mean that enlightenment is the end.  Becoming enlightened does not mean that you instantaneously become perfect; never have a bad thought or speak a bad word ever again.  In fact, enlightenment is, if you will, simply the beginning, for it isn’t enough to know the true nature of reality; to know the reason that you have been put on this earth and how everything fits into place.  Now that you know it, you have to live it. You have to live your truth and that, quite frankly, can take some doing.

In fact, living your truth and the progression that comes after enlightenment can actually be more confusing than what came before, and that is because you are no longer on a journey.  You are no longer following a path to actually get somewhere.  Now that you have got to where you are going you have to create an entirely new life; a new existence; a new reality for yourself, like the pioneers who traveled out west in their covered wagons.  They didn’t always know where they would end up, but once they got to where they were going, it was time to get started on the real work; on creating a life for themselves out of the wilderness they had discovered.  It is the same with enlightenment.

Once you have awakened; once you have become aware of the true nature of reality and of your real reason for existence, you stop searching and begin creating a life based on your new realizations, and that isn’t so much a circle as it is a spiral.

Imagine if you will a giant slinky.  A slinky is not much more than a flexible coiled spring whose individual spirals are all part of a much larger whole.  Now, when you condense the spring into its smallest form you see it for what it really is; a slinky.  But when you pull the spirals apart – stretch that flexible spring out to its maximum length, it almost appears that the slinky is made up of individual spirals.

In fact, if you were small enough (and if you turned the slinky on end) you could start at the bottom end of the slinky and slowly but surely walk your way up; spiral after spiral; to the very top.

Congratulations!  You’ve just made a visual picture of the evolution of the soul.

That’s right.  Once you’ve broken free from the infinite loop of habit; of years and lifetimes’ worth of repeating patterns and conditioned responses; once you’ve attained enlightenment as to the real nature of reality and of your place in the universe, then and only then can you start your real journey, the journey that will take you up the spirals of your soul’s spiritual evolution as you create for yourself a life based on those things that you have come to hold dear.

Each level of the spiral is a circle complete and contains within it that reflection of eternity attributed to the ensō.  And yet, as the Zen ensō leaves a small space at the end of the brush stroke completing the circle, so too does a spiral leave a space for the one walking the circle to move up to the next level, completing the circle while transcending it at the same time and integrating everything that was learned in transitioning the circle below into the creation of the life currently being lived.

The earthworms are out!  I giggle quietly as I turn over a large chunk of dirt and expose the roots of the grass to the sun and turn half a dozen of them out of their homes. There is even one on my shovel!  The worm on my hand spade quickly wriggles off and burrows back into the dirt, anxious to be out of the direct sunlight.

Even more amazing to me than the worms (And why is it that worms seem to hate direct sunlight so, anyway, are they really vampires in disguise?  Does the sun dry them out too fast?  Are they afraid of robins?) is the complex world that I find just below the surface of the earth.

Think about it.  We tend to take what we see in our world for granted.  Even in pastoral settings (come to think of it particularly in pastoral settings) the grass, the trees, the flowers – they all tend to mix together into an impression of “countryside” or “garden” and as lovely as any one scene is to the eye, how often do we really think about just how much is going on just out of our sight?

I still remember a child’s book that I stumbled across once that showed cross sections of a city street; everything that was beneath a city street’s paved surface.  It showed the layers of the road itself (packed dirt and gravel and pavement) as well as water pipes, sewer pipes, drainage systems, electrical work.  I stood there, amazed, flipping through the brightly colored pictures and thinking “who would have thought?”  I mean, I always knew that they were there – those layers – but I never really thought about it.

But as complex and layered as a man made city street may be the world beneath the level of an acre of countryside is ten times more amazing to me for one very important reason; it’s alive!

All of it is alive.  The roots of the grass, the roots of the trees, the roots of those damned pesky weeds, and man do those have some amazingly complex root systems!  But it isn’t just the roots, it’s what lives within the roots; the wriggling earthworms and the ants and the burrowing mice, the moles, the rabbits, the chipmunks (did you know that chipmunks build underground nests?) the bees.  Yeah, I found out about the bees the hard way; stepping into an underground nest when I went to clip my hedge a couple of years back.  It wasn’t pleasant.

But it goes far deeper than the roots and the nests and the burrows.  Dig down deeper and you’ll find underground rivers and reservoirs that feed the roots of all the growing things.  Dig even deeper and you will find the coal and the oil that we use to heat our homes and run our vehicles; the iron ore on which so much of our industry is based; the gold and silver and gems that so many people hold in such high regard.

It’s very much like our lives, isn’t it; like reality in general if you think about it.  So often we get caught up in the pretty packaging; in the colorful flowering things and the way the greens contrast against each other, when all the time everything that makes this color fest possible is actively getting on with its business right below our feet; a whole world that we tend to not even think about.

How many times a day do we stop to actually pay attention to the thoughts that are generating our actions?  How many times a day do we actively consider why we are saying what we are saying and doing what we are doing?  How many times a day do we voluntarily and consciously touch that deep inner core from which our true strength and beauty comes and express our gratitude for everything that makes us who we are?

Does it make us better people – to pay attention to our inner workings and the source of our strength?  Of course not; we are still exactly who we were before; exactly who we are when we are not paying attention.  The only difference is that when we are paying attention; when we allow ourselves to be consciously aware of those multitudes of layers; those complexities that make us who we are; we open ourselves to a depth of reality that can lend richness to our lives that most people lack.

In fact, most people go through their lives feeling as if there is something missing; something that they can’t quite put a finger on; something that should be there; something that they should be aware of.  Just like the active world beneath our feet, everything they are looking for is just under the surface – if only they would take the time to get their hands dirty and do a little digging…

I sit back on my heels and grin as the earthworm wriggles frantically off of my spade and dives for cover in the cool, smooth earth.  He’s desperate to get below the surface of things; down to where things cease to simply look pretty and start to get real in earnest.  Can I blame him?  Maybe I can join him.  Maybe we all can.

You’ve heard I am sure, of the circle of life. Anyone who has watched Disney’s “The Lion King” has found their eyes misting over at the beauty of that opening number. And while the concept of life renewing itself is a beautiful and moving one, there is another kind of circle that is far less pleasant to contemplate and far more commonplace and definitely a lot more frustrating. You see, I’m betting that you are far better acquainted with that insidious circle that is also known as an infinite loop.

Seriously, doesn’t it feel that way to you sometimes? Don’t you feel as if you keep coming back to the same point in your life; that the universe keeps presenting you with the same situations over and over and over again?

If you are like most people you also find yourself reacting to these repeating patterns in the same way; time after time after time. And each time when you realize that once more you’ve “done it again” you feel like kicking yourself for not having seen what was happening. Well, you don’t have to keep knocking yourself out for repeatedly making the same silly (and sometimes not so silly) mistakes.

And really, though it may seem ridiculous, there actually is a reason that you keep making these same mistakes. There really is a reason why the same situations keep repeating themselves over and over again in your life. It is because there is something you have yet to learn and, obviously, if you keep reacting to the situation in the same way that you have before, you’re never going to get past this point.

There are some people who go an entire lifetime repeating patterns over and over again; falling in love with the same kind of guy (or girl), getting fired from (or quitting) the same kinds of jobs or even sabotaging themselves with the same kind of negative behaviors. The more often they repeat the same series of actions, the deeper the programmed response becomes. Lucky for everyone, there is a way to break out of these repeated patterns.

Believe it or not, repeating patterns and reactions is one area where practicing everyday mindfulness and mastering emotional mindfulness can be put to some seriously practical use.

By becoming aware of your own emotions; of those people and situations that push your buttons and cause you to react, you can step back from the pre-programmed automatic responses that spring into action without you even having to think about them. You can step back from these unwanted emotions and think before you choose to act; take a moment to listen to what your heart has to say instead of simply acting on instinct.

By practicing everyday mindfulness and becoming aware of your surroundings you can also prevent yourself from coming into contact with those things that trigger your negative responses or, if you can’t prevent the actual interaction, at least be aware that you are walking into a situation where you have screwed up in the past.

It is by using your newfound skills in mindfulness that you can break the habit of these repeating patterns and learn the lesson that they have been trying to teach you. Then and only then can you step out of the never-ending circle and take you place on that great spiral that is the road of spiritual evolution.

Does that sound too morbid? That life IS pain?

Yes, there is plenty of pain in life that any sane person would choose to avoid if possible; the pain of a body broken in an accident; the pain of a long term illness; of starvation; the pain of exposure to the elements.  It is our nature to avoid these kinds of pain; to take steps to ensure that we don’t have to be subjected to them because, quite frankly, the pain is unpleasant. But not all physical pain is bad.

Indeed, physical pain can be an indication of growth; such as the growing pains experienced by children or the burning pain of muscles that are being built up through rigorous exercise.  Pain can also go hand in hand with extreme pleasure, as experienced during orgasm, or as the beginning of life itself, as experienced in childbirth.

But there are other kinds of pain.  There are pains that run deeper than the physical; pains that originate in the mind and that are not as easily healed as physical injuries and illnesses.  These pains can have their origins in betrayed trust, in unrequited love, in guilt, in dashed hopes and failed expectations.

We know, logically, that these kinds of pains tend to be the catalysts for profound change; but we find ourselves cringing away from this kind of pain because sometimes it seems as if these kinds of wounds are more painful than physical pain ever dreamt of being; primarily because we don’t allow ourselves to heal.  Unlike physical injuries, we can’t seem to be able to process mental and emotional trauma that can lead to healing and growth.

In fact, we tend to cling to our pain; especially our mental pain; to embrace it as if it were a treasured possession.  Perhaps it is because the pain reminds us of what we had and what we had; of the life we once lived and of everything that we have lost.  Perhaps it is our way of making ourselves pay for something that we consider to be our fault; our way of making atonement for our mistakes.  We cling to it in spite of our feeble attempts to mask it; to ease it with painkillers and narcotics; with shopping and sex and alcohol.

We don’t want the pain, but we don’t seem to know how to let go of it. It is as if on a very fundamental level we understand that even though pain hurts us – it is a catalyst for growth; for becoming the person that we were always meant to be.  The disconnect is in knowing how to recognize it for what it is and process it in such a way that it becomes a blessing and not a curse.

The Zen masters understood this, which is why they said that the only solution to pain and suffering in this world was to become one with it – to allow yourself to feel the pain completely and totally; to let it fill you up until there is absolutely nothing else that exists in your universe. In doing this you receive everything that the pain is offering you.  You accept it freely.  You allow yourself to experience it fully.  Then and only then are you ready to let go of the pain in order to make room for something new in your life.

Neil Donald Walsch.

In spite of what every teenager on the planet thinks, it is really almost too easy to find yourself a niche.  It may not be the niche that you thought you would fill when you were 18 and the world was your oyster.  But most of us eventually get tired of going against the grain; of being the only ones who don’t belong somewhere; of being the odd man out, and we end up settling.

We find ourselves a job, a career, a neighborhood, a spouse, a home church or a circle of friends that we feel comfortable with and we allow ourselves to settle for “good enough” or “not that bad” even though the thought of settling for anything but our highest dreams and expectations would have given us the screaming heebie jeebies just a decade earlier. And then we wonder why it is that we become bitter?

Look around you.  People you knew in high school and college; people that had high hopes and brilliant dreams and plans to change the world are now working dead end jobs to pay for the mortgage, their kids’ braces, car payments, a new roof and maybe a once-a-year trip to Orlando or Vegas where they can pretend that they are someone else for a few days; someone who has actually made it.  Someone who didn’t give into the system, who still sees the wonder and the mystery in life; someone who made their dreams come true.

“Oh now, it’s not that bad” I had a friend tell me once.  “My job pays the bills. Our family goes out to eat once a week.  We go on vacation once a year. It’s not a bad life.”

Well, it’s not necessarily a good life either.

Don’t get me wrong.  There is nothing bad about having a home, two cars, three kids, two dogs and a guinea pig named Munch.  There is nothing wrong with being able to afford to go on vacation and being able to pay the mortgage and the car payments.  There is nothing wrong with working 40 hours a week and saving up vacation days so that you can go to Disney’s Magic Kingdom.

It may not be a bad life, but that doesn’t mean that you are living.

At its most basic and fundamental level the term “living” means to be alive, not dead; to have an existence.  But there is more to it than that.  To be considered truly living you must also be active, thriving and vigorous, and not just (or necessarily) in body, but in mind and spirit as well.

Are you?

Are you thriving and vigorous in mind and spirit?

Does your work stimulate you?  What about the company that you keep, the books you read, the shows you watch; do they stretch the boundaries of your imagination and challenge your intellect? Do you find yourself waking up each morning with a thrill of anticipation as to what new adventures the day will bring?

If you are like most people, the answer will be no. It’s not because you’re a bad person.  It’s not even because you’re living a bad life.  It’s because you are living within your comfort zone. You’ve found your niche; your space where you can exist and are following Zipf’s law; the principle of least effort that almost all living systems fall into unless they are stimulated by something outside of themselves.

You’ve found a space where you don’t have to struggle or strive, where you don’t have to challenge yourself, where you can watch Monday night football and have enough money after your bills to go out on the weekends and maybe take the kids out for an occasional swim at the lake.

Perhaps in the back of your mind you realize that there is something missing; that there should be more to your life than this; that somewhere along the way you went from dreaming and planning your future to daydreaming about what might have been.

You know what the answer is, don’t you? Yes, you do, but you probably won’t like it.

The answer is to stop living within your comfort zone.

Life – real life – begins at the end of our comfort zone.  It begins at the edge of reasonableness; where the mundane becomes the fantastic; where the accepted and the traditional scoot over to make room for possibilities.

You see, in order to truly live.  In order to grow; in order to become something more than we are; in order to thrive we need to be shaken up.  We need to have our limitations tested; our boundaries breached; our beliefs challenged, and if life doesn’t present us with these challenges, it is up to us to challenge ourselves so that we won’t slip into complacence.

We need to put ourselves in situations where we have to learn new skills; meet new people; come in contact with new ideas and ways of viewing the world and our place within it.

You see, the one constant in the universe is change, and if we refuse to change; if we find that comfortable little niche and tuck ourselves away in it, change will pass us by and we will slowly stagnate until we become everything that we ever hated and never wanted to be.

William Blake once said that “the man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.”  But it isn’t just our opinions that need to be altered; it is the very way that we view life – the very way we view living.

Go ahead – take that first step outside of your comfort zone to where the real living begins - and see just how truly wonderful life can be.

I suppose that I should apologize for not being one of those kooky new age fluff bunnies who skulks around under random pieces of furniture collecting negative energies and dispelling them with love and light and a trilling song to small animals  a’ la Snow White.

I’m sorry, but Snow White has always annoyed me to no end.  Forget all of the quips about her living with seven men and still acting like she’s all sweet and innocent, it’s her voice (in the animated Disney version) that drives me absolutely batty; all high and squeaky.  But more than that, it’s her naive attitude towards life in general that leaves me shaking my head.  Come on already, who actually takes (and eats!) apples from withered old hags who appear at the door of your cottage; a cottage that is in the middle of nowhere nonetheless?  Not to mention falling hopelessly in love with a man you’ve only met once!

I actually met Snow White once.  Well okay, it wasn’t Snow White.  It wasn’t even the actress that played Snow White (actually I think she died back in 1997). She didn’t even have a squeaking voice.  Actually the woman I met had an attitude that reminded me of Snow White

I was visiting a New Age psychic fair with some friends and the woman was running a stall where she sold lovely little crystals that she had strung together with colorful beads to make “power prisms” that you could hang in your living room window.  There was nothing wrong with her stall.  The beads were very lovely and she seemed like a really nice person, but when she criticized me for “not being positive enough” when I mentioned a news article that I had recently read (and which tied in with the conversation we were having) I was, quite literally, flabbergasted.

“You really shouldn’t talk about things like that” she said, putting one hand over her heart.  “You’re not going to get anywhere if you think about or mention negative things!”

I admit that I had to blink at her.  There was really nothing to say.  She was totally sincere in her reaction and seemed genuinely aghast that I could call myself a lightworker and still mention something negative.

What I wanted to tell her is that she clearly misunderstands the concept of a lightworker.  There is nothing written anywhere that says that a lightworker has to be all light and love.  There is not even anything that says that a lightworker has to be continually positive and upbeat.  A lightworker is any being dedicated to the cultivation of inner presence as well as the elevation of awareness not only in yourself but in others as well.

Come to think of it, like so many others out there, she probably also misunderstands the concept of light.

Anyone who thinks of light as being all love and etheric gentleness has obviously been standing too long gazing at the moon and has probably never stood too close to an open fire when the sparks are flying or has gotten a serious sunburn while lying on the beach.

Think about it, what is the source of light (and life for that matter) on this planet?  The sun of course; and the sun is no gentle etheric light that soothes and calms the soul.  The sun is powerful. It brooks no argument.  You can’t hide from it.  It cuts through the darkness like a knife through butter and has the power to transform whatever it touches. There’s just one problem, the touch of the sun is not always gentle.  In fact, while it can be soothing and nurturing, it can also be downright painful.

The caress of sunlight is what encourages a seed to crack itself open, put down roots and become a plant.  Its gentle touch coaxes the leaves into unfurling and the flowers into bloom.  But it can also destroy.  When exposed to direct sunlight bacteria tend to die in hoards, as do many fungi, molds and mildews, and too much direct sunlight can turn a verdant meadow into a dry and barren place.  In fact, our planet cannot handle true direct sunlight and still be hospitable to life.

Much of the sun’s power is filtered through our atmosphere where the dangerous rays such as X-Rays, UVC, UVB and UVA (all of which can be damaging to DNA) lose much of their destructive force as they pass through the ozone layer and atmosphere.  But even these rays can be used discriminately to fight everything from the spread of skin fungi by using germicidal lamps to PUVA therapy for psoriasis. But then there are also lasers that concentrate light for precision work in eye surgeries and the treatment of cancers. You just have to know when it is the right time to use the light for gentle healing, and when it is more important to cut right down to the heart of the mater.

Have you ever seen a picture painted by an artist who didn’t use shadows?  There is no depth, no perception, no way to gauge distance or to orient yourself in relation to your location in space and time. By using shade and shadow an artist breathes life into their work.  It becomes alive.  It is the balance you see that makes all the difference.  Knowing when to use the light, and when to let the light speak for itself, and when to make room for the shade and shadows that will put it all into perspective.

You see, aside from the light, discernment is the true lightworker’s most important tool.  You have to be able to understand just how much (and what kind) of light is needed.  In order to understand this you also have to be able to discern the usefulness of shade and shadow (when appropriate), especially when it casts what the light illuminates into sharp relief or brings it into clearer focus.  Without it the light would go unnoticed and unappreciated, and awareness, after all, is what being a lightworker it is all about.

©Stephanie S. Henry 2012